When we are children one lesson commonly taught is to never talk to strangers. This is of course a measure of precaution taken by our parents/guardians, or whoever claims and takes responsibility for our lives and well-being. The reason we are told to not talk to strangers is of course because, "strangers are bad"..... So essentially we are conditioned to believe that most people are bad, unless proven otherwise. The dilemma is, of course, how do we prove someone to be "good" without approaching them and developing some kind of relationship with them. I feel like so many people exist in this world and are terrified, or just short of, sparking up conversation with someone whom they have never met.
It's amazing to me that so many people seem to hold onto this conditioning. How do people meet each other? I guess through family and friends, viewed as trusted sources for reliable judgement of character. This is nice, I just think it's really interesting when we talk to strangers, not to mention that perspectives expressed are, from my experience, never repeated or habitual. The practice of forcing conversation is very educational due to the variety that is not only unexpected, but also because you are giving strangers a chance to "prove" themselves to be decent people(most people are pretty nice, which is why the word prove is in quotations).
Break the conditioning and talk to strangers, odds are if you're reading this you're an adult and you most likely have acquired the skills to break the ice with someone you don't know, which is reason to get to know them. They don't have to "look" interesting, but may be actually the highlight of your day. You may even learn some new jokes, or an interesting fact. The learning process is seemingly endless with this exercise, I've learned much about myself and my ability to take part in the art of conversation. Also, I would like to think that I've shared the same pleasure as the strangers I've met, it's really quite enjoyable, you can say anything to someone who knows nothing about you, they can only judge you by what they know about you, which is only what you've told them.
When we are kind to strangers, I think we've improved two peoples experience of meeting. After all, we don't know them, so we can probably assume the best, and if you treat the meeting as if they are a "good" person, the entire experience most likely will be enjoyable. There's no reason to not talk to our fellow humans, we have a lot in common with each other, whether we realize it or not. Who knows, you could meet the best friend you'll ever know, or someone who will change your life/perspective completely. You'll never know if you don't try!
It's amazing to me that so many people seem to hold onto this conditioning. How do people meet each other? I guess through family and friends, viewed as trusted sources for reliable judgement of character. This is nice, I just think it's really interesting when we talk to strangers, not to mention that perspectives expressed are, from my experience, never repeated or habitual. The practice of forcing conversation is very educational due to the variety that is not only unexpected, but also because you are giving strangers a chance to "prove" themselves to be decent people(most people are pretty nice, which is why the word prove is in quotations).
Break the conditioning and talk to strangers, odds are if you're reading this you're an adult and you most likely have acquired the skills to break the ice with someone you don't know, which is reason to get to know them. They don't have to "look" interesting, but may be actually the highlight of your day. You may even learn some new jokes, or an interesting fact. The learning process is seemingly endless with this exercise, I've learned much about myself and my ability to take part in the art of conversation. Also, I would like to think that I've shared the same pleasure as the strangers I've met, it's really quite enjoyable, you can say anything to someone who knows nothing about you, they can only judge you by what they know about you, which is only what you've told them.
When we are kind to strangers, I think we've improved two peoples experience of meeting. After all, we don't know them, so we can probably assume the best, and if you treat the meeting as if they are a "good" person, the entire experience most likely will be enjoyable. There's no reason to not talk to our fellow humans, we have a lot in common with each other, whether we realize it or not. Who knows, you could meet the best friend you'll ever know, or someone who will change your life/perspective completely. You'll never know if you don't try!
Combat Control!
23!
Funny; I am an adult, and cannot seem to master the skill set for breaking the ice with strangers. There are many instances where I want to engage someone in conversation, and I just do not know how to spark something up. I often get the feeling that people just don't want to talk. Sometimes when I try to engage people, I don't get anything back to go on; I stop right there because it feels forced and they seem an unwilling participant.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, those people who seem unwilling to talk should read the "chamber or madness" haha! just kidding. However, in reference to the "dilemma" you've described, they may feel the same way you do. Meaning, they may feel that they aren't comfortable speaking to individuals unknown, due to a lack of comfort for determining whether or not that some-one is willing to converse.
ReplyDeleteI spent some time, purposely going out of my way and seeking opportunities to "break the ice" with strangers. This was very interesting, typically if I go out in public, I'm usually by myself so I didn't have to worry about making anyone else with me feel uncomfortable, which I felt played to my favor.
I found instantly, that instead of looking for common ground, summon it. What I mean is, we're all human and we're all facing similar struggles based on the fact that we live in the same environment, under the same government, and circumstances. Plato once said "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". The only reason many people seem different is because we're all really good at pointing out and highlighting differences, instead of embracing our many common attributes.
I don't know if this helps you feel more comfortable about strangers, but I sure hope it does. I've found that generally people are nice, kind, and generally helpful, a lot of this can be based on the setting, I don't think it would be a great idea to go hang out on Skid Row trying to spark up conversation with any passersby. So we have to use our judgement based on the particular scenario. I did notice that older/elderly men were thrilled to speak someone they didn't know, actually several conversations/moments "made my day" as a result of our random greetings. Hopefully, you can have a similar experience. :D